Yesterday and today, I participated (listened in on) a presentation at work regarding Data Management. What I expected to be a learning experience on tools and methods, was more of a high level update on state level data management projects. Needless to say, not exactly an exciting presentation for someone at my level.
But, as I sat listening, I happened to see one of my journals lying near to hand and so I picked it up. The dates of the journal are from 1997, less than a year after my divorce and a difficult time for myself and my children. As I began paging through the journal, I was reminded of things that happened during that time that I had totally forgotten about: the financial difficulties, the emotional struggles, and the worries about the future. I also came upon some things that reminded me of God's loving care for us during this time as always.
There are a few reasons that I am sharing this, in no particular order. You may be so totally different from me and have no inclinations to journal whatsoever, but if you have ever considered it, I HIGHLY recommend it. Oh, the amazing power of being able to return to an instant in the past to revisit that situation with the knowledge of how it resolved and what it brought to your life. It is so amazing and comforting to see how God has worked through the things that were so difficult, bring you through, and even bless you by those trials.
But of even greater interest to me at the moment, is the ability to commune with God that I once enjoyed, even during a stressful and trying time of my life. And then to recognize that I have lost that ability over the past 10 years or so. Oh, how I miss it!!! How I long to hear Him again, to experience His tangible presence.
One of the problems, I think is that I am no longer connected to the body of Christ as I once was. Over at least the past 10 years, I have isolated myself and withdraw from fellowship. And it hasn't been until this moment that I have recognized all that that withdrawal has cost me. Not only did I retreat from fellowship, but also from my fellowship with God Himself. Oh, I did still believe and pray, but the day-by-day fellowship and recognition of Him died off as my active participation in the body ended.
I would not have realized this, had I not been able to look back to the relationship I once had with Him as recorded in the journal. And so, I am pausing to consider the importance of not only going to church, but of becoming an active participant in a church that supports and encourages not just a religious lifestyle, but the powerful, life-changing relationship to God and to His body/His church/His family that enables, empowers, and gives direction for living in this world as His image-bearer, His hands and feet.
I am not sure that this post is well-thought out and organized, and I don't have the time at the moment to edit. Suffice it all to say, that if you are in any way disposed to writing, I HIGHLY recommend you begin or maintain a journal (or you can call it a diary). And I recommend that you occasionally take/make the time to go back through that journal/diary to remind yourself of where you have been, where you are, and how you got here. My personal journal is combined with my Bible study notes. So I have both a personal record of my life experiences as well as a record of the lessons that I have learned through the word of God. Priceless!!!
I will be praying for a relationship with a fellowship of believers who will help me to make my way back into the fullness of God's Spirit!! Oh, how I miss it!!!
