The times (of my life) they are a-changing!

OK, it is "official"! I am moving out! As many of you probably know, I moved to Arizona three years ago with my oldest son, his family, and my youngest son, a total of 6 humans and one little dog. We have all shared one big house as the two new babies were added to our "tribe" until a month or so ago when my youngest son moved out.

Throughout my life, I have never lived alone. After high school, I got married and moved from my parents' home into my ex-husband's apartment. For a part of my marriage, we lived with his family in Amman, Jordan, which was a wonderful experience that prepared me to live with my son and his family. After my divorce, I lived with at least one of my sons. Now it seems that it is time to step out on my own. The thing that comes to mind is the old show "That Girl" from the 60's with Marlo Thomas or "The Mary Tyler Show." I feel as though I am stepping out into a new experience as an single adult woman, an individual, perhaps it is long overdue.

So, it is with a mixture of nerves and excitement that I begin looking for an apartment. (Anybody know of any in the area??) Wow! My very own place, just me and Piper! How exciting! And I hope it doesn't sound selfish, but it will be so nice to just worry about myself for a change. Not that anyone has wanted me to be worried about them, or that anyone has needed me to take care of them for a LONG time. But my nature has been to feel that I need to be there to protect my sons and Amir's family, trying to make everything easier for them. (It could be argued that rather than making things easier, I have only made them more difficult.) Anyway, it is time to entrust their futures to God and to their own choices. And it is time to focus on my future, on my walk with God and His purposes for my life. Whew, it is a little scary. No more hiding behind the needs of others, I have to step out and step up and set my heart on my own future.

So, I ask for your prayers that I can find just the right place that I will LOVE!! I need a place I can afford, but I so long for one that gives me space for study and writing, as well as a place for all my books. I do need a place that will accept my little Piper, and I would SO LOVE a 1st floor place, where I can take her right out side without having to go up and down stairs. Although, my health could probably do with some stairs. I also want to have a washer/dryer in the apartment so I don't have to go out to do laundry. I also need prayers for furniture. Right now I only have bedroom furniture and bookshelves. Everything else was left behind in IL when I moved out to AZ. I would love to find some great garage-sale bargains and eclectic items to surround myself with. I'm not a great decorator, so some items that would give me inspiration would help.

I can't tell you how excited I am and at the same time, how nervous. But I believe that God has some new things to do in my life, and I am so looking forward to what He has planned for me. Again, asking for lots of prayers!

Love,
Ev

Responses to "Boys"

I received a couple of responses to this post that I wanted to share with you because they made a difference in my thoughts and my heart regarding my son. They moved me to talk with him in a way I haven't talked to him in quite a while. Thank you so much Dawn and Ginger for your thoughts and wisdom.

From Dawn:

Ev…what a son cannot share outright with his mom, he shares deep inside his heart. I know this for a fact because I have a brother and my mom felt the same way you did. I wasn't until my mom was suffering with lung cancer that the true "son" came out…my brother led my mom to her eternal home with Jesus Christ and we were all a witness to it. He was a master of ceremonies, so to speak! That's when I truly saw the love my brother had for my mom and the tenderness that he couldn't share with her while she was with us…that tenderness and love that was deep within his heart is what enabled my mom to go safely "home." Don't feel sad…feel glad that God gave you those sons for a special reason, in a due season! Love and blessings to you…

From Ginger:

Because you are a mature, beautifully souled, wise, woman of God with many talents and gifts I am going to speak to you very honestly because I love you so much. " Faithful are the wounds of a friend " the bible says, right? Reread the first paragraph of your letter. It was God's Spirit speaking through you and right on truth. Reread the second paragraph. The saying you quoted is what the world says perhaps but is it what the Word says? Jesus said He (and we) should make no disinction between Jew or Gentile or male or female and are all equally loved by God. Because we have God's indwelling Holy Spirit neither should we. Who do you think is speaking to you these lies which sadden and depress you? Not God - Who is able to do all things concerning love and godliness in our lives.
I have had five sons and one son in law, soon to be two grandsons, and two wonderful daughters, two daughters in law and two granddaughters. I can tell you with absolute certainty that there is no difference - They ALL really want you to hold them and tell them you love them. It is ALWAYS a mothers place, duty, and privelege to do these things.They DO want to talk to you, be comforted, encouraged, and touched. Wives and mothers are not competing or taking the place of one another but sharing in the sons love in unique and different but important ways.
Some daughters ( like some sons) might apperar to not want comfort, love, or touch but ALL normal humans are initially made by the Lord to need, seek, and desire fullfillment of these needs.

Thank you for the words of encouragement and wisdom, I have already taken them to heart and acted on them.

Love,
Ev

Boys!

You know, for a long time (since I was blessed with 3 sons) I have thought that sons were the best. I was so happy that I had 3 boys instead of girls. I mean don't take this the wrong way if you have beautiful, wonderful daughters. I just felt that boys were much easier to raise, especially for someone of my temperament. Boys seem to have much less drama in their lives, and I don't do drama well.

But tonight I am sitting here feeling a little sad for having sons. The saying goes, "A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter for all of her life." And it suddenly hit me tonight how true that statement is. Sometimes you see a son going through something tough and you just ACHE to hold them and to tell them you love them and that it will be all right, but you just know that it isn't your place any more. They don't want to talk to you about it, they don't want you to comfort them or encourage them or even to touch them. They go to their wives for that.

And suddenly I realize that if it was my daughter, she would still come to me. She would still share her heart with me. I would still have a place in her life.

So, I guess the drama is not such a bad thing when you consider that you will still have a piece of their hearts later on. Sometimes it is so hard to be the mom of adult sons.

Love,
Ev

Thank You, God! I am so blessed!!!

I just returned from visiting my amazing and godly friend, Sarina. And last night I was able to attend our weekly prayer gathering with so many of my other amazing and godly friends. And I am so reminded of how gloriously God has blessed me with the people in my life!

I look through my life and see so many godly and loving men and women who have blessed me, encouraged me, instructed me, and loved me. All I can do is thank God for His goodness, and say to all my glorious, wonderful friends, I love you!!!